| 4/11/2005 | |
| No Screams, Just Right | |
| The baby awoke at about 3:00ish AM. This doesn't doesn't quite qualify as "through the night" in my book, but since she went down early we got our down time so it seems to be a fair trade-off. Baby ran errands with Hannah and they ended up at her 'rents' place when they arrived home from Rochester. I met up with them after work and we went out to dinner at our favorite place The Outback Steakhouse (Julie's second dinner out and first trip to our favorite place). Juliet fussed a little bit early on but after a quick discreet nipple-feeding she napped quietly allowing us to finish dinner peacefully. As we were preparing to leave she awoke and was not particularly happy. After a quick pit stop at Hannah's 'rents' house we headed home in separate vehicles. When I was most of the way home I got a call from Hannah. The baby had been screaming pretty much the whole ride home. Hannah wanted me to prep the Julie's bottle as soon as I got home if I got there before her. We pulled into the driveway at pretty much the same second. She took her and I unloaded the gear from her car (Hannah was on the phone). Once inside I tended to baby while Hannah prepped the bottle. Hannah was still on the phone and pretty much ignoring my need for assistance (there were no wipies at the "outer" changing station and baby was freakin'). Finally she came over and kept a hand on her while I ran into the back for more wipes. When I came back she had taken the wipes from the diaper bag and used those instead. She didn't use the diaper I had gotten out either. This kinda erked me because she dumped the screaming baby off on me then took over and did her thing anyway. So she dumped the baby off on me again and went into the other room to continue her phone conversation (apparently it was too loud with the screaming baby). Meanwhile I'm bobbin' and bobbin' and bobbin' and Julie ain't calming down. After ten minutes or so she finally quieted a bit and Hannah finally got off the phone. She brought the bottle and I got set up on the couch. Hannah asked if I needed anything. I responded with "could you please open the window (it was steaming hot in the sunroom), turn on the ceiling fan, and close the one shade (the sun is brutal as it sets through the window). Hannah came in, opened a window on the other side of the room, turned on the light, and left to make another phone call. So there I am all wrapped up on the couch, roasting because the fan was not on and the window near me was still closed, and blind because the shade was still up. The baby was not happy with the situation either. I had belched her and that was not the problem. I thought that it may be gas. I called out to Hannah as few times to come and give me a hand. No dice. I continued with the battle of the bottle. During the next belching I unburied myself, turned on the fan, opened my window and closed the shade, obtained and administered the drops all whle juggling the baby who was still screaming at the top of her lungs. I managed to get her to mostly finish the bottle but toward the end she wanted nothing to do with that any more. My frustration grew. In this situation there is usually only one thing that will calm Julie, a human breast. Hannah was still in the other room ignoring me in favor of her phone call. She finally came back and was mystified at why I was pissed off that she wasn't around to help me with any of this. Now, when I'm in feed-mode I am pretty helpless. I'm wrapped up in the boppy with baby and bottle in hands. I can't even scratch my head without assistance. When I expressed my frustration she came back with "But it's your turn to feed her." Now it's not like I was trying to sherk my duties. All I wanted was someone to grab the damn bottle of drops for Chrissake. While Hannah is in feed-mode I am always right there to get or do whatever she needs. Also, when she is in feed-mode the baby is getting the ultimate pacifier: her nipple. With me she is usually good, but the bottle is definitely not her favorite so there is always some bit of contention there. Further, my feeding comes at her "witching hour", as Rachel puts it, meaning that between 6:00 and 11:00 PM she is generally a pain to deal with. When I deal with her it is usually on these terms, and I do most of her tending during this period. Anyway, Hannah finally took the baby and boom, silence. Then, as I'm trying to get my brain back in my head she orders me to set up the baby's bath. Thanks. Do you know the word "please"? I'm thinking "and after all of that you want me to help you now?!?! I seem to remember being the last one to give her a bath, and all by myself mind you". Anyway, while setting up the bath that piece of shit cabinet door fell apart, again. It had been falling apart ever since Ethan took it apart a few weeks prior, but this time it was for real. I could not get it to stay together, even with glue, and at this point I was in no mental state to try anyway. I got the bath set up and retreated into the office to do some long overdue paperwork and cool down. Two checks, a stack of bills, and quarterly filings later (not exactly the best medicine for an already frustrated person) I came out. By this time Hannah had gotten Julie down in her room (imagine that). We both fell asleep on the couch. Eventually we both awoke and went to bed (~11:00 PM). Parenthood can be very stressful at times. Sometimes that stress gets the best of us and in our frustration we get what, in hindsight, seems very petty. Even as I write this I regret some of the things said and done last night. I think that the key is to keep your sight on what is important, be there to support your partner (none of that "it's your turn" shit), and to try not to direct blind frustration at the only person in the room that can comprehend it just because they are the only one. |
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